I'm not Predictable!"
by Jsel
Summary: A little humor while SG-1 reads fanfiction.


Disclaimer: not mine  
Notes: Came to me during the night so you're the victims of my midnight ramblings. I tryed not to use any known fanfiction and I don't know who came up with the term Anthropuppy, but it sure fits!:)  
  
"I'm not predictable!"  
By Jsel  
  
Jack entered the briefing room and found his three team mates sitting around. Sam was reading on the computer, Daniel was reading at the table and Teal'c was reading in a chair in a corner.  
  
"Hey kids," he said, "What's up?"   
  
Sam turned around. "Actually, we found some fanfiction."  
  
"Really? Sweet. What about?"  
  
"Us." said Daniel from the table.  
  
"What's happening to us?" he asked. Daniel stopped reading again and looked up.  
  
"I seem to be dead quite often." Jack laughed and he scowled. "I'm serious. The only thing I haven't seen is me being killed off various times by Apophis and being brought back by the sarcophagus and then I end up left addicted to it again." He shuddered at that memory then picked up the papers and read a bit before putting them down and saying quietly, "I stand corrected."  
  
"Oh, come on." Jack said. "It can't be that bad."   
  
Daniel pushed the papers over to him and he read a bit of it. He didn't get as far as Daniel had been before putting it down.  
  
"That's...that's sadistic." he said. "How do they think that stuff up?"  
  
"They also have me addicted to coffee." Daniel complained.  
  
The three turned to stare at him and he threw up his hands in defeat.  
  
"All right, so maybe that part is true." he said as he took a long gulp from his cup beside him. Jack laughed and went over to Sam.  
  
"How's everything in this part of the sea." he asked.  
  
"Well, sir, we're married and we eaither have kids or are going to have kids." Jack reased his eyebrows in surprise.  
  
"Yeah." said Daniel, "And I seem to be falling for Janet all the time." They both grinned at him and Jack turned back to Sam.  
  
"What else?"   
  
She scrolled down a bit and muttered, "Daniel just died again."  
  
At the table, Daniel groaned and put his head in his arms.  
  
"Let me guess," he said, sounding slightly muffled, "The stargate collapsed on me."  
  
"No!" Sam denied a little to quickly.  
  
"And they resurect me with a Sarcophagus." he went on.  
  
"Actually," Sam said, "They leave you dead this time."  
  
For some reason, Daniel perked up at this.  
  
"Really? they've never done that before!"  
  
"Besides Daniel's nine lives expiring faster than people can count them, what else is happening to us?" Jack asked.  
  
"We've been turned into children quite often. Seems that Daniel has been titled "The Golden Whipping Boy" and the nicknamed "Anthropuppy" and they've caught on to your predictability."  
  
"Predictability?" Jack asked, "I'm not predictable!"  
  
Teal'c stopped reading and looked up at him. "I can surmise from your wet appearance that it is raining outside."  
  
Jack opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, three voices chimed in with, "Ya think?"  
  
He opened his mouth again and they all said, "Oh, for cryin' out loud!"  
  
"I'm not predictable!" he protested.  
  
"Yes you are!" said Daniel and Sam at the same time.  
  
"Teal'c?" Jack asked, turning to the Jaffa.  
  
"I agree with Daniel Jackson and Major Carter. Your patterns are very obvious."  
  
"Translation Jack?" said Daniel. "You're predictable."  
  
"Whatever, Anthropuppy."  
  
Daniel was just turning a brilliant shade of red when the door opened and General Hammond walked in.  
  
"What?" he asked at the grins directed at Jack, which, in Daniel's case was tinted with embarrasment. Jack stepped forward.  
  
"Sir, am I predictable?"  
  
"Yes." Hammond said. "Now Janet wants to get a few more tests with you. You're going to sigh, you're going to groan, you're going to put on your "for the best" look, and you're going to take it. There, you're all predictable." he said as he pointed to Daniel Jack Sam and Teal'c in turn.  
  
As he left a chorus of "I'm not predictable!"'s could be heard resounding through the SGC.  
  
  
  



End file.
